Well, your kids have been in
school for a while. Hopefully, you have seen some homework being done;
hopefully your kids have been forthcoming about their grades; hopefully
you won’t be in for some surprises when midterm grades are handed out. If
they are not handed out, do call the school and talk to the guidance
counselor who can obtain current grades from teachers. In this way you
will be apprised of what’s happening and not be in for some traumatizing
surprises at the end of the term.
If the grades are not ones that
you think should be earned by your kids, do question them to find out
what’s the true story. That may take some doing. They may tell you that
the teacher is boring, that the class is too noisy, that they have no
place to really study and so the list of excuses continues. But that’s
just it – they are excuses. You have to find out the real reasons. How to
do that? Get in touch with the counselor and/or the individual teachers.
Do set up appointment with all parties concerned. By sitting down with
everyone, including your kids, you will be able to get a true picture of
just what is happening.
Sometimes, as a guidance
counselor, I have sat down with parents to suggest that they start
progress reports, but the parents don’t want to do that yet. They don’t
want to pressure their kids; they feel their kids have too much on their
plates. Now who is making excuses for whom? Instead, as parents, they
should call the counselor, be forthcoming about any issues, make
compulsory study times, and limit television and instant messaging time.
After all, as parents, they are the adults, their kids are the children.
Once everything has been put into
play, it is important to monitor your kids. Make sure they wish to achieve
or else all the boundaries in the world will not make a difference.
Ultimately, it is
time for your kids to take ownership of their grades. It is time for them
to stop making excuses that allow them to forgive themselves and therefore
decide not to change. They have to stop feeling as if they are victims and
then and only then can they march forward toward achieving success.
